Sometime in 2014, I was diagnosed with astigmatism. I have to say, it was a hard time for me. I’d always enjoyed perfect sight and suddenly, I could barely see my hand in front of me and I was smiling at random people on the streets because I didn’t know who was smiling at me and I ain’t taking no chances. Ah, everyone gave me hell and when I eventually started to wear glasses, they called it fashion. Seriously?
Three years now and its been one hella experience. And it can’t be just me who’s getting all the heat, I bet. So here a few. Feel free to add yours!
1. When you’re without your glasses and someone is talking so you gotta nod and smile and pretend you know who’s talking. So, this happens all the time, especially when I’m around the hostel and I’d go without my glasses. This one time, I was at the tap outside and a friend of a friend was yelling from upstairs. ‘Zee, can you grab my bucket, please. It’s got my name on it.’ There were lots of buckets. Even ME could see that. So I just kept yelling ‘who are you? Who are you?’. Long story short, she didn’t talk to me for the whole semester😭.
2. When people say ‘nice glasses, can I try them on. Me: Uhmmm, no. My eyes tend to do that thing where I can’t see without it, you know😒.
3. And they go ‘ohhh. I thought it was a fashion statementhmmm, a 24-hour fashion statement.
4. When people call you ‘ma’am’ because you look ‘so serious’. I’m a young lady. Stop it. I just have bad eyes, I haven’t aged twenty years.
5. When they say ‘oh, but you’re too young to wear glasses’. Uhmmm, I’m sorry. Things just don’t work that way, beloved.
6. ‘Why don’t you just wear contacts?’ I’m sorry my ass is too clumsy. I flushed my last contacts down the sink.
7. ‘Ohhh, you look soooo goooodddd without those hideous glasses.’ Sweetie, I’m sorry my bad eyesight offends you so…😪’
8. ‘But you weren’t using glasses before now…’ I also didn’t have pubic hair before now, so what’s your point?
9. ‘The girl on glasses…’ This was legit my name the whole of a semester. Oh, plus blind bat, four-eyed, nerd… It didn’t help that I could see at night perfectly. Talmbout a bat😂 .
10. ‘Why don’t you put up some eye make-up’… Uhmm, because soon imma start tearing up and I prefer not to waste my time and energy, you know.
Oh, there is one more!
*When you wanna take a selfie with the girls and they say ‘take off your glasses’… Sis, I can’t see the ‘snap’ button if you don’t let me keep this apparatus on😐.
Now, y’all don’t go thinking there isn’t some good part to wearing glasses. There is one, actually:
~When everyone thinks you’re a smartass because bad eyesight is attributed to a high IQ (I don’t know…society is just weird). Plus, you get to do that cool thing where you pull off your glasses and squint thoughtfully when you want to say something. (If you wear glasses and you haven’t done this, wyd?)😂~
What are other things you’ve put up with wearing your glasses? Can’t wait to hear ’em.
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Until next time,