Okay, so Jess just sent me an email few hours ago, saying ‘Zee, you’ve totally been ‘Nigerialized’ lol. All you do is go about spewing clapbacks and catchphrases.’

And it’s funny because I wasn’t one for catchphrases and all,but now I’m a total clapback person. From ‘Am I your mate'(Read post here), I graduated to ‘Come and beat me’.

First, ‘come and beat me’is just what it means. However, its what to say as suffix to maybe an unsavory statement. For example,last week I said to my friend ‘You look like a frump. Come and beat me’. 

Mostly, this phrase is used when you know the person you are saying this to cannot actually beat you! I would always say to my little brother ‘Big headed monkey. Come and beat me’ and my little brother would tease our littlest sister. And so on and so forth.

An incident occurred a few days ago, however that made me start considering my ‘Nigerialization’ and catchphrases career. I was talking to my mom over the phone and she was giving a stern warning about the sorry state of my finances. I got real frustrated because she seemed not to understand how much I’m being forced to spend in college. So, I said ‘Mom, I don’t have money. Come and beat me.’ Oh boy! She paused. But then she proved to me she was my mother, after all and had a PhD in catchphrases. So she said ‘Don’t think you’re above some ass-whooping. You’d better settle your finances before you get back for the holidays, else, you would receive that beating you asked for. I would beat you so hard your brain would go back to its default settings’.😭

FAM! I was shook (another Nigerian slang for ‘shock’). Why did no one tell me you could actually get a beating from saying ‘come and beat me’. But then, I guess I was stupid. As they would say in contract law, it was an invitation to treat. Lol. 

Well, what do you think of my Nigerian catchphrases? Have I really been ‘Nigerialized’?😂

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Until next time,

EikÓJÖnwa❤

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